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SEXIST: The Patriarchy Version

I read a post about how in my own hometown, a girl was slut shamed in an 'elite' school of my city and she was being victimized and mocked at by every boy, because they have got her "pictures"- the inappropriate, not to be spread pictures, that were leaked all around by the 'bois group' of the school. It was an incident that took place in 2013 and after this 'bois locker room' incident and all the exposure of the incident, she had the courage to speak about it and open up what she was suppressing inside herself all these years. 
 
Don’t we ever think that it is the culture that is wrong? Changing uniforms from skirts to suits because a boy called her “sexy”, not allowing to wear short socks and synonymising ponytails with inviting behaviour from the beginning of our school lives is one aspect that makes sexist culture significant and prevalent. Are all these actions justifying that we usually never realise that the victim is someone who needs you and we just keep on traumatizing him/her more and more.

 One such long-discussed issue is the standards of masculinity set by all our ancestors- the facial hair, the serious, diligent man, the apathetic heart and not to be expressed emotions- a stone statue, deadpan, passive structure. A man who can bake cakes, wear pink, be a feminist, can dance, be artsy, and be kind- is not a “masculine” man and such standards of masculinity state how cool a boy is when he shares pictures of a girl and makes sexist and glorified comments about her body.

When he does this, he is labelled as “cool” among the social boys group and is said to be a true man. A boy or a man who is not inclined much towards sexually charged topics, is often said to be gay. These norms of masculinity has thus made our defined our rape culture and how females who often become victims to such toxic masculinity are supposed to suppress the traumatization inside. Often during the school years, the administration and management lead to transferring or expelling girls who are victims to slut shaming because “school ki reputation kharab ho jayegi agr ‘aisi’ ladki ko rakha toh.”  

Long standing oppression, dealing with body shaming, being called a slut even when you are not guilty has become common for school going girls. I was asked to carry butt covering tops and shirts when I was to go on a school trip to Jaipur. Why? Just because there were boys who went along and there was a fear of being laid and exposed to them. Just because there were boys who fantasized about girls and could secretly record them. And then also, the blame would come upon a girl- her ways of inviting boys just because her butts were not covered or she was wearing slutty clothes. “Aree jab chote kapde pehn ne nahi hai toh banane kyu hain?” 

I don’t ever understand this culture of toxic masculinity in our society where morphing pictures of opposite gender, glorfying rapes and fucking a girl has become the measurements of being a boy. Schools glorify boys because “vo toh bas bachpane mein khel raha hoga, dhayan toh ladki ko rakhna chahiye.” If a boy touched her, she wouldn’t have been wearing a camisole inside her translucent white shirt. The culture builds from the very beginning as we are born from differentiating our sex and then in school- differentiating our uniforms, and differentiating between job profiles and qualification. Everything indicates to the norms of fake masculinity, and what males are supposed to be. Is this how the world is supposed to be? No. There have been developments of feminism and some bold females have represented themselves equally but still victimization and traumatization of females is the supposed thing from the culture of patriarchy as are the supposed norms of the “masculinity and its behaviour". 

Patriarchy equally affects both genders and sets standards for both- attributing males with pervert nature is one such thing leading to rape culture and attributing prostitution to females is one thing leading to inviting men and developing a different kind of rape culture. Whereas “objectification” equals women and “dominance” equals men - BDSM - a sex culture has also been curated keeping in with norms of patriarchal masculinity and feminism. 

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